MY MIND CREATED THIS FIELD OF DISTRACTIONS AND I SAILED RIGHT ON IT
From that day on I decided: yoga ánd meditation – without me even trying – wasn’t invented for girls like me. For many years I made myself believe I was too chaotic, soon distracted, too busy, name it too brilliant. Joking here. ? But there are many facets of my character that just don’t match the serenity of this lifestyle and that became my conviction.
I’m glad I proved myself wrong by starting meditating on my bed, during my first visit in Bali. I experienced the clarity it brought me, everyday. So after returning to The Netherlands, I thought it was about time for me to give yoga a second change.
There and then, on the 6th of November 2016, I went to an evening lesson of Brikam yoga in Amsterdam. I went with my friend Marthe, who had almost finished her 100 days of yoga. In a row, of course.
GOOD COMPANY FOR THE NEEDED SELF-CONFIDENCE..
Being a bit more prude then a average girl, the first thing I had to deal with, was the fact that it was an ‘almost-naked’ situation. Not only in the dressing room, but also on the practicing floor. Most of the outfits I saw, were more revealing then the underwear I was wearing that day. Later on I understood, because the heat went up to over 40 degrees. That’s hot. After we did the standing positions, I thought an hour had passed. The heat was still rising so I was glad when we were instructed to lay down. To me it looked like we were finished and inside, I congratulated myself for doing a great job. I felt exhausted but satisfied. It was only after laying down, when our teacher told us we did well on the warming up. THE WARMING UP!
I STARTED PANICING A LITTLE BIT
Because I felt close to passing out while we’d only begun, great. I tried to find the eyes of Marthe, without any succes. So I tried to focus on my breathing and decided to keep going on with the practice ’till the end. I told myself that I’m not a quitter and if I could remain staying calm, there was a big change I would survive this too.
After another half an hour or so, I whispered to Marthe: ‘When will this ever finish?’ She told me a couple of times that it was totally ok for me if I just lay down and wait for the lesson to be over. I kind of ignored that, because I made myself a promise and wanted to finish. Just after her giving me a piercing who are you kidding, just lay down! look, I thought it wasn’t such a bad idea. So I did.
And I really enjoyed it for as long as I could.. Because the teacher – kind but strict – was standing next to me when I opened my eyes. He looked at me from above, it kind of threatened me because I already knew what he was about to say. He said: ‘I can see you’re not close to dying, so..’ By saying that, he must have meant that I must finish the practice unless some rampage would happen.
AT LEAST IN HIS WORLD THERE WAS NO RAMPAGE GOING ON..
I laughed loud – probably too loud for a yogaroom – and felt slightly embarrassed about me giving up. Even more because I actually wasn’t planning on quitting unless Marthe suggested this option repeatedly. I know, it’s always easier to blame someone else.. So, after the lesson, during a conversation with her, this took me by surprise: She told to me I’d done a good job for the first time. ‘That being said, you could easily done the job without your little rest, just so you know for the next time.’
There and then, I felt the humor and irony of this situation and laughed. Only because I felt great and alive after finsihing this first time of ‘terror’ yoga. And so I did the next time, and the next time, and the next.. ?
I hope you enjoyed my little story.