As a digital nomad, I have had the opportunity to travel to many different countries. I have met some amazing people along the way, but I have also encountered my fair share of creeps. These men have made me feel uncomfortable and unsafe, and their behavior has often been to their own detriment.
Whether itโs in hostels, co-working spaces, clubs, or bars, Iโve seen countless instances of men behaving in a creepy manner towards women. This behavior has ranged from making unwanted sexual advances to following women into their rooms and trying to force themselves on them
Before we proceed, let me make it clear that I donโt consider myself a dating expert by any means. Iโm just an ordinary guy who has had his fair share of encounters with creeps. Iโm genuinely tired of witnessing this behavior from men because itโs unappealing, unfunny, and certainly doesnโt lead to any positive outcomes.
Thatโs why Iโve taken it upon myself to write a guide for all the guys out there who struggle with coming across as creepy. Additionally, if youโd like to assist a friend who exhibits such behavior, or if youโre seeking to avoid being labeled as โthat guyโ yourself, I have some tips for you.
Table of Contents
ToggleHow To Stop Being a Creep
Donโt be a creeper!
If you see a girl you like, donโt stalk her, donโt follow her, and donโt creep her out.
Just because youโre interested in someone doesnโt mean you have the right to invade their personal space and make them feel uncomfortable.
Be respectful of other peopleโs boundaries, and donโt do anything that would make you feel uncomfortable if someone did it to you.
Donโt be too forward
Thereโs a difference between being flirty and being pushy, and itโs important to know the difference.
Flirting is fun, itโs playful, and itโs a way to show someone youโre interested in them without being too forward.
Pushiness is when you donโt take no for an answer when youโre hitting on someone or when you try to force yourself on someone physically.
Pushiness is a major turn-off, and itโs not going to get you anywhere.
Donโt be a creep, and donโt be too forward. If you can manage that, youโre well on your way to not being That Guy.
Be yourself
This might seem like common sense, but youโd be surprised how many guys try to be someone theyโre not when theyโre hitting on girls.
Maybe you think you have to act cool or be someone youโre not to attract a girl but trust me, thatโs not the way to go.
The best way to attract someone is to be yourself. Be confident in who you are, and donโt try to be someone youโre not.
If youโre being genuine and authentic, people will be drawn to you.
Know when to back off
Thereโs a fine line between being persistent and being a stalker, and itโs important to know when to back off.
If a girl isnโt interested in you, donโt keep pushing it.
Itโs okay to be persistent, but if someone isnโt interested, know when to back off and move on.
Be aware of your body language
Your body language says a lot about you, and you want to make sure youโre sending the right message.
Be aware of how youโre standing, how youโre looking at the person youโre talking to, and what your facial expressions are saying.
If you come across as too intense, or if youโre making someone feel uncomfortable, theyโre not going to be interested in you.
Donโt touch her without permission
This should be common sense, but Iโm going to say it anyway because I see guys do it all the time.
Donโt touch a girl without her permission.
That includes putting your arm around her, holding her hand, or anything else.
Even if you think itโs harmless, it can make a girl feel uncomfortable and like sheโs being disrespected.
Respect her space
Respect her space, and donโt invade it.
If sheโs not interested in you, donโt try to force yourself on her.
And even if she is interested in you, donโt get too close to her until you know itโs okay.
Be aware of your own space, and donโt invade hers.
Avoid creepy comments
This should be obvious, but donโt make any comments that could be interpreted as creepy.
That includes compliments that are too personal, sexual comments, or anything else that might make a girl feel uncomfortable.
If youโre not sure whether something is creepy or not, err on the side of caution and donโt say it.
Donโt stare at her for too long
Staring is creepy, and you donโt want to come across as a creep.
If youโre caught staring at someone, just smile and look away.
And if you canโt help but stare because you think sheโs really pretty, just remember to blink once in a while so you donโt look like a creepazoid.
Be polite and respectful
This should go without saying, but be polite and respectful to the girl youโre talking to.
Donโt interrupt her, listen to what she has to say, and donโt talk over her.
And most importantly, donโt be a jerk. No one wants to date a jerk, so just be a good guy.
Listen more than you talk
This is a good rule of thumb in general, but itโs especially important when youโre trying not to be creepy.
If youโre talking more than she is, youโre probably coming across as too intense.
So just relax, and let her do most of the talking. Listen to what she has to say, and youโll probably find that youโre getting to know her better.
And who knows, she might even be interested in you too.
How not to be creepy as a digital nomad
As a digital nomad, itโs important to be aware of the potentially creepy vibes you might be giving off.
Related: How to Spread Good Vibes As a Digital Nomad
After all, thereโs nothing worse than scaring away potential customers or fellow nomads with your awkwardness.
Remember you are not at home
Because we reach new countries and new cultures, it is easy to get comfortable and fall into bad habits.
Remember that you are not at home and that. As a result, certain things which are considered normal back home might not be here.
This goes for everything from your behavior to the way you dress.
Be aware of the way you come across
It is always important to be aware of the way you come across to others, but this is especially true when you are a digital nomad.
This is because, as a digital nomad, you will come across many different types of people from all over the world.
Some cultures are more open than others, and some people are just naturally more closed off.
Because of this, it is important to be aware of the way you come across to others and to make sure that you are not giving off any creepy vibes.
Be respectful
One of the most important things to remember when you are a digital nomad is to be respectful.
Respect the cultures you are visiting, and respect the people you meet.
This includes both locals and other digital nomads.
Just because you are from a different culture does not mean that you can get away with being disrespectful.
How to not be creepy over text
Just like in person, you want to avoid being creepy when youโre texting a girl.
That means no unsolicited wired pics, no sending her dozens of texts if she doesnโt reply right away, and no asking her personal questions that make her uncomfortable.
You can chat about something you have in common or ask her about her day, but avoid getting too personal.
Just donโt be creepy, and youโll be fine. (:
How to not be creepy at the hostel
The same rules apply when youโre at the hostel as when youโre anywhere else.
Donโt invade her space, donโt touch her without permission, and donโt make any creepy comments.
Respect her privacy, and be polite and respectful. If you do all of that, you shouldnโt have any problems.
How to not be weird at a party
Thereโs nothing worse than being the weird guy at a party.
No one wants to talk to you, and you just end up standing in the corner by yourself.
First, donโt do anything that would make someone uncomfortable. That includes staring at people, touching people without permission, or making creepy comments.
Second, try to blend in and not stand out too much. Donโt be the loudest person in the room, and donโt do anything that would draw attention to yourself.
And finally, just be yourself. Donโt try to be someone youโre not, and people will be more likely to accept you for who you are.
How to not be creepy at the gym
The gym can be a great place to meet girls, but it can also be a great place to creep them out.
So how do you avoid being that creepy guy at the gym?
First, donโt stare at women while theyโre working out. Itโs disrespectful, and itโs just plain creepy.
Second, donโt try to hit on women while theyโre working out. Theyโre there to exercise, not to be hit on by creepy guys.
And finally, donโt follow women around the gym. If you want to talk to someone, just approach them and strike up a conversation. But donโt stalk them from machine to machine.
How to not be weird on a date
The best way to not be weird on a date is to just be yourself.
Donโt try to be someone youโre not, and donโt do anything that would make you feel uncomfortable if the roles were reversed.
Just relax, and go with the flow. If youโre genuine, sheโll appreciate it. And if things go well, you might even get a second date.
How to not be creepy when youโre drunk
The best way to not be creepy when youโre drunk is to just drink in moderation.
Donโt drink too much, and donโt do anything that you wouldnโt do when youโre sober.
And if you start to feel like youโre getting too drunk, stop drinking and take a break. Itโs better to be safe than sorry.
How to stop looking creepy
Do you think you look creepy? If so, donโt worry. There are a few things you can do to stop looking creepy.
First, make sure youโre well-groomed. That means showering regularly, brushing your teeth, and making sure your hair is neat.
Second, dress in clean clothes that fit well. Avoid wearing anything thatโs too tight or too loose.
And finally, try to relax and be yourself.
The more comfortable you are, the less likely you are to look creepy. Just donโt try too hard, or you might end up looking even creepier.
How to not be creepy on Tinder
When it comes to online dating, thereโs nothing more important than not being creepy.
After all, nobody wants to be matched with a total creeper, and nobody wants to date one either.
So how can you make sure that youโre not being creepy on Tinder? Here are a few tips:
โ First and foremost, donโt start your profile with a picture of you leering over a sleeping child or animal. Thatโs just creepy.
โ Donโt use pictures that are clearly staged or posed. If your pictures look like they could be from a catalog, theyโre probably too posed. And if youโre using a picture of you with an ex, crop them out!
โ Be careful about how much information you share in your bio. You donโt want to give away too much, because that can be creepy. But at the same time, you donโt want to say too little, because that can also be off-putting. Just strike the right balance.
โ When messaging people, donโt message them constantly or send generic messages like โheyโ or โwhatโs up.โ Thatโs just creepy and annoying. Instead, take the time to read their profile and message them something specific and interesting.
โ Finally, donโt be afraid to meet up in person! Some of the best relationships start with a simple coffee date. Just make sure that youโre meeting in a public place and that you tell someone where youโre going beforehand. And if things start to feel weird or uncomfortable, just end the date early. Thereโs no shame in that.
Have difficulty finding dates? I wrote a guide on How to Date as a Digital Nomad. Check it out!
How to not give off a creepy vibe
Weโve all seen that guy at the party who makes everyone uneasy, and weโve all sworn that weโd never be that guy.
Unfortunately, sometimes itโs not as easy as it seems.
Even the best-intentioned guys can unintentionally give off a creepy vibe.
Fortunately, there are a few simple things you can do to make sure youโre not one of them.
First, avoid using creepy body language. This includes things like standing too close to people, staring too intently, or touching people without consent.
Second, be aware of your facial expressions. If you find yourself making frequent eye contact or smiling in a way that makes people uncomfortable, try to tone it down.
Finally, remember that words can be just as creepy as actions. Avoid making comments that could be interpreted as sexual or threatening, and donโt say anything that would make someone feel uncomfortable.
How to not make creepy eye contact
In order to not make creepy eye contact, you should avoid staring at someone for an extended period of time without blinking.
If you find yourself in a situation where you are unable to look away, try to focus on something else in the room or think about something else entirely.
Additionally, make sure to blink regularly and avoid widening your eyes too much.
If you can master these techniques, you will be well on your way to making eye contact that is not creepy!
So what to do?!
I admit, I brought a lot of advice on what not to do to not look creepy as a guy. But what should you do then?
The best thing you can do is to SMILE!
Smiling makes you appear more approachable and friendly, which is the exact opposite of creepy.
Another great tip is to be aware of the person you are talking to.
If you are talking to someone who seems uncomfortable, take a step back and give them some space.
And finally, try to be yourself!
Yes, Iโm writing it again. But itโs so important!
If you try to be someone youโre not, people will see right through you. And that can be really creepy.
โWhat is hateful to you, do not do to othersโ
As a Jewish person who grew up in a religious school, I am very familiar with the golden rule: โWhat is hateful to you, do not do to others.โ
This simple statement can be applied to so many situations, including the issue of creepy behavior.
If you donโt want to be treated in a certain way, donโt treat others that way. Itโs as simple as that.
Following this rule will not only make you a better person, but it will also help you avoid being creepy!
Please do me a favor
I would like to make a special request
If you meet a creepy person in a hostel or on a plane, or anywhere in the world, send him this guide.
I know it can be a creepy move to give someone a link to this guide, but letโs make this world a little less creepy, one guy at a time.
And thatโs it! You are now armed with the knowledge of how to not be a creepy guy.
Use these tips wisely and go out there and make some new, non-creepy friends! And donโt forget to smile :).
- Improve your digital nomad skills
- Become a Digital Nomad
- To be my friend