As a digital nomad, I have had the opportunity to travel to many different countries. I have met some amazing people along the way, but I have also encountered my fair share of creeps. These men have made me feel uncomfortable and unsafe, and their behavior has often been to their own detriment.
Whether itβs in hostels, co-working spaces, clubs, or bars, Iβve seen countless instances of men behaving in a creepy manner towards women. This behavior has ranged from making unwanted sexual advances to following women into their rooms and trying to force themselves on them
Before we proceed, let me make it clear that I donβt consider myself a dating expert by any means. Iβm just an ordinary guy who has had his fair share of encounters with creeps. Iβm genuinely tired of witnessing this behavior from men because itβs unappealing, unfunny, and certainly doesnβt lead to any positive outcomes.
Thatβs why Iβve taken it upon myself to write a guide for all the guys out there who struggle with coming across as creepy. Additionally, if youβd like to assist a friend who exhibits such behavior, or if youβre seeking to avoid being labeled as βthat guyβ yourself, I have some tips for you.
Table of Contents
ToggleHow To Stop Being a Creep
Donβt be a creeper!
If you see a girl you like, donβt stalk her, donβt follow her, and donβt creep her out.
Just because youβre interested in someone doesnβt mean you have the right to invade their personal space and make them feel uncomfortable.
Be respectful of other peopleβs boundaries, and donβt do anything that would make you feel uncomfortable if someone did it to you.
Donβt be too forward
Thereβs a difference between being flirty and being pushy, and itβs important to know the difference.
Flirting is fun, itβs playful, and itβs a way to show someone youβre interested in them without being too forward.
Pushiness is when you donβt take no for an answer when youβre hitting on someone or when you try to force yourself on someone physically.
Pushiness is a major turn-off, and itβs not going to get you anywhere.
Donβt be a creep, and donβt be too forward. If you can manage that, youβre well on your way to not being That Guy.
Be yourself
This might seem like common sense, but youβd be surprised how many guys try to be someone theyβre not when theyβre hitting on girls.
Maybe you think you have to act cool or be someone youβre not to attract a girl but trust me, thatβs not the way to go.
The best way to attract someone is to be yourself. Be confident in who you are, and donβt try to be someone youβre not.
If youβre being genuine and authentic, people will be drawn to you.
Know when to back off
Thereβs a fine line between being persistent and being a stalker, and itβs important to know when to back off.
If a girl isnβt interested in you, donβt keep pushing it.
Itβs okay to be persistent, but if someone isnβt interested, know when to back off and move on.
Be aware of your body language
Your body language says a lot about you, and you want to make sure youβre sending the right message.
Be aware of how youβre standing, how youβre looking at the person youβre talking to, and what your facial expressions are saying.
If you come across as too intense, or if youβre making someone feel uncomfortable, theyβre not going to be interested in you.
Donβt touch her without permission
This should be common sense, but Iβm going to say it anyway because I see guys do it all the time.
Donβt touch a girl without her permission.
That includes putting your arm around her, holding her hand, or anything else.
Even if you think itβs harmless, it can make a girl feel uncomfortable and like sheβs being disrespected.
Respect her space
Respect her space, and donβt invade it.
If sheβs not interested in you, donβt try to force yourself on her.
And even if she is interested in you, donβt get too close to her until you know itβs okay.
Be aware of your own space, and donβt invade hers.
Avoid creepy comments
This should be obvious, but donβt make any comments that could be interpreted as creepy.
That includes compliments that are too personal, sexual comments, or anything else that might make a girl feel uncomfortable.
If youβre not sure whether something is creepy or not, err on the side of caution and donβt say it.
Donβt stare at her for too long
Staring is creepy, and you donβt want to come across as a creep.
If youβre caught staring at someone, just smile and look away.
And if you canβt help but stare because you think sheβs really pretty, just remember to blink once in a while so you donβt look like a creepazoid.
Be polite and respectful
This should go without saying, but be polite and respectful to the girl youβre talking to.
Donβt interrupt her, listen to what she has to say, and donβt talk over her.
And most importantly, donβt be a jerk. No one wants to date a jerk, so just be a good guy.
Listen more than you talk
This is a good rule of thumb in general, but itβs especially important when youβre trying not to be creepy.
If youβre talking more than she is, youβre probably coming across as too intense.
So just relax, and let her do most of the talking. Listen to what she has to say, and youβll probably find that youβre getting to know her better.
And who knows, she might even be interested in you too.
How not to be creepy as a digital nomad
As a digital nomad, itβs important to be aware of the potentially creepy vibes you might be giving off.
Related: How to Spread Good Vibes As a Digital Nomad
After all, thereβs nothing worse than scaring away potential customers or fellow nomads with your awkwardness.
Remember you are not at home
Because we reach new countries and new cultures, it is easy to get comfortable and fall into bad habits.
Remember that you are not at home and that. As a result, certain things which are considered normal back home might not be here.
This goes for everything from your behavior to the way you dress.
Be aware of the way you come across
It is always important to be aware of the way you come across to others, but this is especially true when you are a digital nomad.
This is because, as a digital nomad, you will come across many different types of people from all over the world.
Some cultures are more open than others, and some people are just naturally more closed off.
Because of this, it is important to be aware of the way you come across to others and to make sure that you are not giving off any creepy vibes.
Be respectful
One of the most important things to remember when you are a digital nomad is to be respectful.
Respect the cultures you are visiting, and respect the people you meet.
This includes both locals and other digital nomads.
Just because you are from a different culture does not mean that you can get away with being disrespectful.
How to not be creepy over text
Just like in person, you want to avoid being creepy when youβre texting a girl.
That means no unsolicited wired pics, no sending her dozens of texts if she doesnβt reply right away, and no asking her personal questions that make her uncomfortable.
You can chat about something you have in common or ask her about her day, but avoid getting too personal.
Just donβt be creepy, and youβll be fine. (:
How to not be creepy at the hostel
The same rules apply when youβre at the hostel as when youβre anywhere else.
Donβt invade her space, donβt touch her without permission, and donβt make any creepy comments.
Respect her privacy, and be polite and respectful. If you do all of that, you shouldnβt have any problems.
How to not be weird at a party
Thereβs nothing worse than being the weird guy at a party.
No one wants to talk to you, and you just end up standing in the corner by yourself.
First, donβt do anything that would make someone uncomfortable. That includes staring at people, touching people without permission, or making creepy comments.
Second, try to blend in and not stand out too much. Donβt be the loudest person in the room, and donβt do anything that would draw attention to yourself.
And finally, just be yourself. Donβt try to be someone youβre not, and people will be more likely to accept you for who you are.
How to not be creepy at the gym
The gym can be a great place to meet girls, but it can also be a great place to creep them out.
So how do you avoid being that creepy guy at the gym?
First, donβt stare at women while theyβre working out. Itβs disrespectful, and itβs just plain creepy.
Second, donβt try to hit on women while theyβre working out. Theyβre there to exercise, not to be hit on by creepy guys.
And finally, donβt follow women around the gym. If you want to talk to someone, just approach them and strike up a conversation. But donβt stalk them from machine to machine.
How to not be weird on a date
The best way to not be weird on a date is to just be yourself.
Donβt try to be someone youβre not, and donβt do anything that would make you feel uncomfortable if the roles were reversed.
Just relax, and go with the flow. If youβre genuine, sheβll appreciate it. And if things go well, you might even get a second date.
How to not be creepy when youβre drunk
The best way to not be creepy when youβre drunk is to just drink in moderation.
Donβt drink too much, and donβt do anything that you wouldnβt do when youβre sober.
And if you start to feel like youβre getting too drunk, stop drinking and take a break. Itβs better to be safe than sorry.
How to stop looking creepy
Do you think you look creepy? If so, donβt worry. There are a few things you can do to stop looking creepy.
First, make sure youβre well-groomed. That means showering regularly, brushing your teeth, and making sure your hair is neat.
Second, dress in clean clothes that fit well. Avoid wearing anything thatβs too tight or too loose.
And finally, try to relax and be yourself.
The more comfortable you are, the less likely you are to look creepy. Just donβt try too hard, or you might end up looking even creepier.
How to not be creepy on Tinder
When it comes to online dating, thereβs nothing more important than not being creepy.
After all, nobody wants to be matched with a total creeper, and nobody wants to date one either.
So how can you make sure that youβre not being creepy on Tinder? Here are a few tips:
β First and foremost, donβt start your profile with a picture of you leering over a sleeping child or animal. Thatβs just creepy.
β Donβt use pictures that are clearly staged or posed. If your pictures look like they could be from a catalog, theyβre probably too posed. And if youβre using a picture of you with an ex, crop them out!
β Be careful about how much information you share in your bio. You donβt want to give away too much, because that can be creepy. But at the same time, you donβt want to say too little, because that can also be off-putting. Just strike the right balance.
β When messaging people, donβt message them constantly or send generic messages like βheyβ or βwhatβs up.β Thatβs just creepy and annoying. Instead, take the time to read their profile and message them something specific and interesting.
β Finally, donβt be afraid to meet up in person! Some of the best relationships start with a simple coffee date. Just make sure that youβre meeting in a public place and that you tell someone where youβre going beforehand. And if things start to feel weird or uncomfortable, just end the date early. Thereβs no shame in that.
Have difficulty finding dates? I wrote a guide on How to Date as a Digital Nomad. Check it out!
How to not give off a creepy vibe
Weβve all seen that guy at the party who makes everyone uneasy, and weβve all sworn that weβd never be that guy.
Unfortunately, sometimes itβs not as easy as it seems.
Even the best-intentioned guys can unintentionally give off a creepy vibe.
Fortunately, there are a few simple things you can do to make sure youβre not one of them.
First, avoid using creepy body language. This includes things like standing too close to people, staring too intently, or touching people without consent.
Second, be aware of your facial expressions. If you find yourself making frequent eye contact or smiling in a way that makes people uncomfortable, try to tone it down.
Finally, remember that words can be just as creepy as actions. Avoid making comments that could be interpreted as sexual or threatening, and donβt say anything that would make someone feel uncomfortable.
How to not make creepy eye contact
In order to not make creepy eye contact, you should avoid staring at someone for an extended period of time without blinking.
If you find yourself in a situation where you are unable to look away, try to focus on something else in the room or think about something else entirely.
Additionally, make sure to blink regularly and avoid widening your eyes too much.
If you can master these techniques, you will be well on your way to making eye contact that is not creepy!
So what to do?!
I admit, I brought a lot of advice on what not to do to not look creepy as a guy. But what should you do then?
The best thing you can do is to SMILE!
Smiling makes you appear more approachable and friendly, which is the exact opposite of creepy.
Another great tip is to be aware of the person you are talking to.
If you are talking to someone who seems uncomfortable, take a step back and give them some space.
And finally, try to be yourself!
Yes, Iβm writing it again. But itβs so important!
If you try to be someone youβre not, people will see right through you. And that can be really creepy.
βWhat is hateful to you, do not do to othersβ
As a Jewish person who grew up in a religious school, I am very familiar with the golden rule: βWhat is hateful to you, do not do to others.β
This simple statement can be applied to so many situations, including the issue of creepy behavior.
If you donβt want to be treated in a certain way, donβt treat others that way. Itβs as simple as that.
Following this rule will not only make you a better person, but it will also help you avoid being creepy!
Please do me a favor
I would like to make a special request
If you meet a creepy person in a hostel or on a plane, or anywhere in the world, send him this guide.
I know it can be a creepy move to give someone a link to this guide, but letβs make this world a little less creepy, one guy at a time.
And thatβs it! You are now armed with the knowledge of how to not be a creepy guy.
Use these tips wisely and go out there and make some new, non-creepy friends! And donβt forget to smile :).
- Improve your digital nomad skills
- Become a Digital Nomad
- To be my friend